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So many things have been going on.

We had an awesome WisCon, filled with friends, fun, awesome food, and awesome panels.

Then we went and had dinner with Sarah’s parents as a celebration of their anniversary and a welcoming home of Alexandra.

My friend Lily is going to be sending me the first GoT book, because she’s awesome like that.

This Saturday we (Sarah, Alexandra, and I) are going to Shepherdstown to hang out for Alexandra’s birthday (we have a thing for small and pretty walkable cities).

On Sunday Sarah and I have a company picnic for her work.

And next weekend we’re getting together with Sarah’s parents to celebrate Father’s day, her dad’s birthday, and Alexandra’s birthday. I’m making a pecan pie and a chocolate almond cake for that.

I love doing nice warm family things. I’m really looking forward to Alexandra moving in(September!!).

Oh oh oh, and I’m going to meet Alexandra’s parents in October. We’re going to Disney World!
Have I mentioned lately that I love you guys?

It’s now looking like I’ll be moving in March-Aprilish. I know that I should be annoyed at yet another delay, but I’m honestly relived. It’s too cold to want to move in Actual Winter.

My mother-in-law’s plan for Christmas is dinner at the Chinese restaurant near the house. Again, I’m really glad. It’s stress free and fuss free.

Of course, next year I’m in charge of Thanksgiving and possibly Christmas. I’m really pleased about Thanksgiving but I’m not so sure I’ll be able to be in charge of both.

I don’t think I’m going to finish my “paint a thing” New Years resolution done. I don’t have the space or the time.
The house in town now has a new sub pump, yay! It took weeks to coordinate with the plumber, but only a few hours to instal the thing. Next is getting washer and dryer hook ups upstairs. We also found out that the avocado green genuine Frigidaire that came with the house still works. I am so it love with it.

As for the country house, I'm trying to decide if I want to keep the wood sliding doors between the parlor and drawing room open or closed. If they're open it becomes a fairly standard large living room, but I like the distinction between the rooms.

I'm also considering getting a P.O. box. I don't see a good reason why I should, but it's neat.
I don't really seem to be around here much, do I? If you really miss me, you can find me as Moofable on tumblr.

Today was a good day, despite not being able to find my checkbook.

I made my first Etsy sale! Woot, go team me!

The Out-Laws bought a house. There is work to be done on it, then we have to move the Out-Laws. Then Sarah and I are moving! And then AE is moving! ALL THE MOVING.

AE's over right now. I love it when the three of us are all together. I really just have the best little family.

Soon we're going to go to the Ren Faire for Sarah and my anniversary, and then there's Halloween. After that I'll have to deal with house stuff like paint and linoleum. I'll also have to figure out where to get a couch from since the place I was planning to go to went out of business.

So many warm and fuzzy little domestic things.

I'm making stew with corn bread and sweet tea for dinner, and I am way way overly excited about that. Lots of awesome fresh veggies.
Um, so making to-do lists didn't work out too well. A big part of that is there is stuff I can't just talk openly about, mostly because it involves other people.

Today's to-do list

Do these bug you guys? Because if so, I can make them private or something.

* Take Peter to the dentist again
* Lunch (Canceled)
* List the rest of the earrings (Finally!)
* Put dishes away (postponed/delegated due to lack of sleep & spoons)
* Clean out Fridge (postponed due to lack of sleep & spoons)
* Take out trash
* Wash dishes (postponed/delegated due to lack of sleep & spoons)
* Shred chicken for dinner tomorrow (postponed due to lack of sleep & spoons)
* Spoon frame (postponed due to lack of sleep & spoons)
* Make dinner (pork burgers)
* Leopard print earrings
* Go to bed before midnight

Today's to-do list

* Take Peter to the dentist
* Lunch
* Take DVD back to Wonderbook

* Get some fucking sleep
* Make dinner
* list more earrings (still more for tomorrow, though.)

Today's to-do list

* Lunch
* Inventory and inventory pricing
* Clear off craft table

* Take earring pictures
* Dishes
* Make dinner (tortilla crusted tilapia with green beans and red potatoes)

* Marinade tomorrow's dinner (North Man's Chicken)
* List new earrings (Okay, I only posted one but it's after 9pm and I'm out of spoons)
* Get stuff out of car
* Finish howlite & coral earrings
* Finish blue earrings

Everything's Up To Date In Kansas City

So I've been a bit busy lately!

I have a book out on Kindle. It's called The Fiddler's Green Chapbook and is only 99 cents.

I've also been making a lot of earrings and embellishing frames. You can find that stuff under HubCityEmbellishment on etsy. I'm going to be adding YET MORE EARRINGS tomorrow or so. My goal is to add more things every week.

I've also been modding AE's new forum. It's weirdly different from modding comments on Tales of MU.

We were going to have a fundraiser to start me off on making MU diplomas, but I've been really busy starting up all of the above and doing my standard issue driving my father-in-law to doctor's appointments. We'll probably do the fundraiser in October, because that's when AE will be back in town and I can recruit her to help.

I'm going to try to be a lot less lax about updating my El Jay, but most people seem to have left the platform so it doesn't really encourage me. I might start writing myself little daily to-do lists here, just to keep myself in good habits.

Oh, oh, oh! Sarah got her promotion! She's now an RA!

Today's to-do list

* Take Peter to Dr.'s appointment
* Lunch
* El Jay post about what I've been up to with links
* Update Amazon info
* Rearrange shop
* Write groundwork for DT&M
* Look over TMG and edit for length
* Storyboard rest of TMG

* Finish Tea W/ The White Rabbit frame
* Plan painting
* Go grocery shopping
* Price earrings
Do you ever wake up with a start and wonder things like "Where am I? Who's the Emperor now? What year is it?"

Of course not, you're sensible people.

Life would be so much easier if I had a strong belief in fate. There wouldn't be any wrong answers, everything would just be as it was supposed to be.

And maybe I could grab that spinning wheel and change a stitch or two. And fail miserably, thanks to hubris.

Wiscon is creeping up, and a lot of people I met the first time will not be there.
I’m so glad to be doing my own grocery shopping and cooking again.

In all the world, nothing is better than sweet sweet control.

I’ve been managing my anxiety really well lately. So well, in fact, that this is my first anxious day since coming back from California. And, despite this, I’ve still gotten a few things done. Anxiety days used to melt my entire life into one big blob of Out-of-Control.

I am about two months away from Wiscon.

I find myself stretching my arm a little further, trying to grasp that green light. I am not yet ready to swim to it.

There is a speech I have to write. I won’t be the one to deliver it though, as I am not one for events that will require my spending a lot of time with small talk.

Mar. 9th, 2012

I have returned from my land of endless summer.

It was a good trip.

Olvera Street and Los Angeles are every bit as fantastic and colorful as possible.
Train rides still thrill me.

And! And I went to Disneyland for my birthday. I didn’t think it would still be as magical as it was. I thought I might be too old to be thrilled by rides and pretty lies, but I still am. It was cold enough with just enough of a threat of rain that we didn’t have to wait for anything and I could bounce around like the exuberant child I am and let my whims guide me.

Sarah and I actually ate at Disneyland. We ate at this lovely Cajun restaurant INSIDE the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. It was like eating under a star filled New Orleans sky, warmed by paper lanterns. AND THEIR FOOD! Oh my gosh, their food. Every bite was a masterpiece.

My father actually managed to stay sober for three days out of the week. My mother, of course, spent every day high.

I’m home now. Happy. Content.

I think we’re going to dinner with the in-laws for my birthday sometime this weekend.

Being 25, a whole quarter of a century, doesn’t feel any different. Of course, I haven’t felt any different since I was about 13 and realized that girls weren’t just cootie factories, they’re also delightful to kiss.

Ah, how good it is to travel! How good it is to be home!

Now, back to living the song of dreams. Back to wondering what one calls those who say things that make you want to kiss them. Back to wondering what one calls those one wants to tuck in at night.
I leave for California during the grey “zero dark thirty” period between tonight (Tuesday) and tomorrow (Wednesday).

If one were to examine my carry-on bag, one would assume that I’m some sort of hippie. I’m not sure which deserves more credit for that: it being a green Sierra Club bag or the reusable grocery bags.

Speaking of Southern California and judging people, I should to go to The Never Open Store. The owner is fantastic, and great at judging the random people that hang around. The store is, obviously, just about never open. The owner is quirky and sassy and fantastic person who only ever opens when she feels like it. It’s also filled with odd things, old things, and vintage things. So, of course I love it.

I kinda don’t want to call up and ask for the store to be open though. Too much “hey, it’s been a long while.”
Every time I pack a bag for a trip, I wonder what my stuff says about me. I wonder what the poor security people who go through luggage think of my stuff. I take note about all the things one could infer from my belongings.

It really combines my wanting to know what other people think (about everything, but especially me), and my desire to be open without seeming odd and out of place.

Of course, this just makes me feel a tad odd and out of place.
A few days ago my parents put down my dog.

She was a fantastic dog.

I was 8 when we got her, and my sister was only 3.

She was already fully grown when we got her. She had been removed from an abusive home and for a while would shiver, cower, and pee herself every time somebody got too close or raised their voice. Luckily she eventually realized that we weren’t going to hurt her and all those problems stopped.

She was always nice to my sister and I. She treated us like we were overly playful puppies. She didn’t mind when we put boxes on her head, didn’t even flinch when my sister tried to ride her. I could even get her to drag my little red Radio Flyer wagon around.

She was an awesome dog, and I’m going to miss her.

In other news, I’m leaving for California in less than a week. I guess it’ll be good to see my land of eternal summer again, but I’m going to miss the capital and my beloved Hub City.

Feb. 22nd, 2012

People are so beautiful.

I love their faults and the cracks in their veneer.

I love the way they catch the light. They illuminate their worlds like stained glass windows.

I am not the most comforting of people. I just don't find myself warm enough. The instant I get out of my comfort zone, I become ridged and formal.
I should not do writing exercises before trying to sleep.
Do you guys remember when I mentioned C.S.E. Cooney's audio book of Jack o' the Hills? Well, part one is now on sale over here. It is every bit as fantastic and entertaining as I expected.
Have I mentioned lately that I love you all?

So far my year has been going fairly well.

I'm looking forward to my trip to CA. Sarah and I are leaving on the 29th.

Wiscon memberships are already paid for and the rooms are reserved, also I'm going to get to see Alexandra before Wiscon too. My life is seriously improved when Sarah, Alexandra, and I are all together.

I'm going to need a new desktop computer, so it's looking doubtful that I'll be able to visit Alexandra latter in the summer. I'm still hopeful though.

There are a few awesome things in the works, but those will have to wait until another post because it's too soon to talk about now. One is about A YEAR away, which is like 3 forevers to me. The others should be happening sooner than that, but I haven't much of a say in when they happen.

Obligatory New Year’s Post

Parts of 2011 were downright hellish, so I will not be sad to see it go. But there were also great parts too. Staunton, live theater, great conversations, great food, and lounging on a pile of women while having cake out of a martini glass. And you know what? I’m really really proud that I stood up for myself and was not silenced.

Here are my resolutions/ plans for 2012:

* Visit California in March (and remember to handle Wescom while I’m there.)
* Wiscon (because I will not let one asshole spoil my fun)
* Sometime in the summer I’ll visit Omaha (Time, money, and the availability of Angie’s couch permitting)
* Hopefully this is the year we move. If so, I will do it slowly and take time to THROW THINGS OUT despite the fact that I will have more space.
* Read at least one book by John Green
* Paint at least one painting
I do not understand the whole tooth fairy thing.

Why on earth would you let a FAIRY into your house? Fairies are horrid little beasts! Why would you make some sort of deal with one? These things are known as cruel pranksters who trick people into go to their deaths and KIDNAP CHILDREN. Why, oh why, would you want one near your SLEEPING CHILD?

And why would you make a deal with something so untrustworthy? What is the trick? What’s the catch? Where does the tooth fairy get the money from? …How does one know that the money is real and legal? What does the tooth fairy do with those teeth? (CAN YOU IMAGINE ALL THE HORRIBLE THINGS A FAIRY COULD DO WITH YOUR TEETH? I sure can.)

I do not understand the whole tooth fairy thing at all, but I also didn’t grow up with it. When I lost a tooth my dad would give me money for it (because losing your baby teeth is a sign of growing up and money is a symbol of Adult Responsibility) and then we’d go plant it in the yard so I’d grow another.

Writer's Block: It's payday!

What would you do if you had a million dollars?

I would buy some houses in Hagerstown, fix them up, and turn them into apartments. Each apartment building will include a small healthy grocery and used book store. I would then then rent these apartments to lower-income families.
I AM SO EXCITED THAT C.S.E. COONEY IS MAKING AN AUDIO BOOK. (For more about said book, you might want to wander over here. )

I am just... so excited.

C.S.E. Cooney is a fabulous writer (who happens to be in 20011's edition of The Year's Best Science Fiction & Fantasy along side people like Neil Fricken Gaiman). However, she is more than just a writer. She is a performer. Her work is a pleasure to read, and even more fantastic to experience.

I will of course tell you when the audio book is out. If you're excited and want to purchase the read-it-you-own-bloody-self edition, you can find that over here. It's also available on Kindle.

Happy National Coming Out Day

I first sort-of came out to my parents when I was too young to really know much about sex and gender.

I was probably about 7 years old. My parents were watching VH1 and I was sprawled out like Nero on my favorite over-stuffed chair with a good book. A music video with Boy George came on and I was so startled I dropped my book. My father asked me what was wrong and I pointed at the TV and practically shouted “That’s me! That’s me! That’s how I am.”

Of course my parents just told me that he was just a guy who dressed like a girl. And, of course, being only 7 and having no real vocabulary to express “transsexual” I couldn’t explain myself.

I came out to my mother again at about 13 when she caught me checking out our waitress. She asked me if I was a lesbian (with more of a touch of “you’d better not be” in her voice) and I responded with “Nope, I’m a faggot. I just also happen to like women.”
Every star’s path in the sky is predetermined. And they keep steadily to their paths.

Wouldn’t that be nice? To know where your life is going and just follow it?

It’d also be boring I guess.

I don’t really know where I’m going. I often wish I did.

Or maybe I want passionate distractions that enhance my already technicolored world.

Can I want both?

In other not-news, I remain hopelessly shy and unsure of social protocol. How does one even begin conversations? Waiting for people to start up conversations is not at all optimal.

Can I just be a different person?

A confident, social, person who does not live inside their head?

That’d at least be nice for a change of pace.
Today, my shoes ran away. Or I misplaced them, somehow.

Either way, I ended up running errands in my bunny-rabbit slippers.

It really made me wish I had a top hat.

Some people need tons of money to be this eccentric.

Never fear, I did buy new shoes. I spent a whole $8 on them.

I don’t really like shoes. If I could, I would go barefoot everywhere. Sadly, that is not possible.

Um, sorry this is so stream of conscious. I’m very me right now.

Oct. 1st, 2011

It is truly the most wonderful time of the year. The vague wind runs its happy fingers through my hair and tugs eagerly at my sleeves. The day light is like filtered gold, and the stars burn like silver fire. The very air smells like wonderment and magic. Soon there will be dead leaves crunching underneath my shoes, and some trees will be adorned with leaves of flame.

I am so in love with Autumn. It is so delightful, inviting, magical, and comforting.

Oh dearest friend, forgive me if I speak too much of the things I love. Some may say that my heart is too easily made glad, my nature is too naive, and my thoughts too forgiving. I can only say that they are more than likely right, and I am happily too much in love.
If Javert and Maximilien Robespierre have taught us anything, it is the fate of the incorruptible. Their incorruptibility blinds them, wrecks their good intent with cruelty, and wounds not only them but their cause.

I say then, let me not be incorruptible. Let me be a man swayed by love, mercy, and forgiveness.

Forgiveness, of course, does not mean letting people walk all over oneself.

Forgiving does not mean that you no longer have a right to be upset. Such emotions can only truly be handled with time.

Most importantly, forgiveness does not make you a better person any more than flossing does. It is simply a thing one sort of should do.
It is said that the eyes of Heaven watch us all from seclusion.

Victims of birth and captives of life, we each walk this world on our own.


It's 3am.

I should be in bed, but I cannot sleep.

My mother-in-law, who is more like a mother to me, is in the hospital.

I'm depressed.

Being depressed is making me think of all the ways being a different person would improve my life.

Which is making me more depressed.

I need a distraction.
I still believe that love transfigures all.

Love is still a thing that is greater then any person, power, or prison.

Love is still mightier then any war, wit, or word.

And yet, love is not all you need because love is not born in a vacuum.

Love's most honored mother is charitable kindness. It is a kindness that bears no grudge. Charitable kindness is a wonderment born out of patience and understanding. It is a kindness that looks up at others with both sympathy and forgiveness. Charitable kindness does not care who you are or where you are from because it finds everyone worthy of itself.

Love's proud father is hope. Hope is what chases away the darkness. Hope is what makes things possible. Hope is the child of wonder and delight. It is the thing that lifts us up when we feel small. It may make us rush madly into the darkness, but it will bring us out the other side if we hold onto it tightly enough.

Love is a splendid thing, but it does not exist without charitable kindess and hope. And by being born, love makes both charitable kindness and hope greater then they could ever be on their own.
So this month is my wife's birthday. I'm taking her out for dinner and a movie (The Rifftracks of Jack the Giant Killer) for it...but I have no idea what to get her. What does one buy for the socailist who proclaims that she has enough stuff?

In October we'll have been married for a year and overall we've been together for 6 years. That's 25% of my life, though it seems a whole lot longer. It feels like it's been forever, but in a good way.

It also feels like I've been with Alexandra forever in a good way too. We've only been dating for about...wow, 3 2 years in September.

Life is.. getting good again.

I'm really lucky. I have top notch friends (including the best evil twin in existance), a fantastic girlfriend, a kick-ass wife, and a job that I love more then hate.

I went to see a play one of my friends was Stage Manager for on Saturday. It was called Shrewing of the Tamed and it was fantastic. In fact, it was fantastic that I didn't even mind that it was all the way in Baltimore.

I saw so many awesome cemetaries on my way to it. I so need to go Wild Cementery Picture Hunting again soon. It's a tad bit too hot, but there is a cemetary in Liberty Town that I am so excited about. Maybe we'll go in October.

I also need to get around to seeing the Quakers. I've been so nervous about that.. but I feel pulled to it and it feels like it's something I really need to do.

Caoimhe/Kynn in her own words

It is unfortunate that Caoimhe feels that she is unable to tell her side of the story. Unfair, even.

I, of course, believe that we should try to make life as fair as possible. So here is Caoimhe in her own words:
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

And by what my goals are she means...

And don't worry, she's taking sensible actions:

It's just too bad that she feels like she can't make an actual public statement about what happened... wait...

1) Caoimhe/Kynn is seeking legal counsel. I know that can feel like a dick move, but it shouldn't. She is well within her rights.

And if she decides for some odd reason to take me to some sort of court? It's okay. I am not afraid (and not because I'm brave, I'm not that either). I have done nothing wrong and have nothing to fear.

2) You guys are so awesome. I was so scared that I was going to be harassed and hung out to dry, but I have been met with sympathy (even from Caoimhe herself), support, and concern (I am as okay as I can be). You have all more than restored my faith in humanity.
Someone pointed out to me that if I did not tell people that my rapist is Caoimhe Snow (also known as Kynn Bartlett), would only be aiding in her in possibly abusing other people. I have never been the type to easily defend myself, but I cannot allow someone else to be hurt. And I should not let this wolf in sheep's clothing pollute the feminist and social justice movements.

So I allowed AE to write a post about what happened (which you can find here).

As she was writing that I go and look at Caoimhe's twitter and find this: Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Of course I saw red and just had to reply.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

And, though she later deleted it, she responded (Yay for getting at replies e-mailed to me.)

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

So apparently confronting my rapist is out of line. She then deleted her two tweets to me, defriended me on LJ and made a locked post.

Jul. 20th, 2011

So my ex who raped me has managed to secure funding for her feminist rpg.

On one hand I'm excited that someone I know is doing something awesome.

On the other hand... she sexually abused me. She treated me like an object, denied me my personhood,denied me my ability to withhold consent, and violated me. This is not a thing that feminists do. She does not deserve to be a well known and respected feminist. It's gross that she gets to play the part.

And the fact that she couldn't do this before but can do it now makes me feel like her abuse of me has empowered her.

Writer's Block: Going the distance

Would you uproot your life and move to another city for someone that you love?

I would (and did) before, but now I have too many responsibilities here. And I really like it here.
Hey everyone. Sorry I haven’t really updated for so long. I’ve been extra avoidant lately.

WisCon was fantastic, even with newbie jitters and a few other things (like being an idiot and forgetting that I need water to survive). I am so going again next year and dragging John (who is the best evil twin ever).
There were so many awesome people there. And I am, of course, the dullest person I know.

The Good Pope Elizabeth I is fantastic, and as much of a tornado as I expected. The good kind of tornado, of course. The kind that takes you off to Oz.

And ohmygosh, I so embarrassed myself with Alexandra’s friend C.S.E. Cooney. When I was first introduced to her I almost said “Oh! It’s your busty friend!” but I just barely caught myself and said “Oh! It’s your Cooney friend!” It was so embarrassing. And then I listened to her sing… Oh. My. Gosh. You. Guys. Even with having to look up lyrics on her little magic phone, she was mind blowingly fantastic. And then I listened to her read her work… I don’t have awesome enough words to describe it. She needs to make audio books.

Next year I need to see more panels with Tempest on them. She is a fantastic panelist/mod. And if/when she does her book about fan language, I will so snap that up.

Later I will make a list of things you need in your life, don’t worry.
The wedding reception was… okay. I’m as shy as a church mouse and was really awkward. I was devastated that my family wasn’t able to make it (my mother was too sick to travel). My little sister was able to make it, which was awesome but meant that I was at her beck-and-call a bit too much for my tastes.

Oh, and Caoimhe and I broke up.

Hmmm, okay, I think I got all the news out. I love you guys, you are fantastic.
This one was actually the hardest for me. I blame it on the fact that I’m really open when it comes to love/lust/sex, so it’s hard to think of “secrets” about them.

Day 7: Lust, seven love secrets.

1. I’m really picky about who I find sexy. I don’t tend to let people in on this because they hate it when I don’t find the people they’re into sexy. Sure, they’re attractive, but the difference between attractive and sexy is as big as the difference between really appreciating a painting and thinking it would go perfectly in your living room.

2. I’m equally sexually interested in men and women, but it would take convincing for me to have a romantic relationship with guys. Most of that is personal baggage, but I also hate the whole macho thing that lots of guys are into.

3. It’s called trade for a reason. If we are not both getting something out of it, what’s the point?

4. Every time I fantasize, I switch perspectives and get into both the character’s/people’s heads.

5. I think it’s rude to fantasize about someone if you don’t know they’d appreciate it. That does not mean I don’t do it.

6. I really am mostly thinking of sex, but not always in an aroused/arousing way.

7. It’s pretty impossible for media to turn me on. I have to already be turned on for it to do any good, and even then it rarely does.

Mar. 5th, 2011

Hey guys! The Con-or-Bust Auctions (which help awesome peopole of awesomeness get to Wiscon) are over Sunday.

Please do me a favor and go check them out.
Day 6 – Gluttony, seven guilty pleasures.

Guilt is an emotion that, for me at least, is completely opposite of pleasure. When I feel guilty, that is all I am able to feel. So these will be seven indulgences that I possibly should feel guilty about, but I simply can’t.

1. Bubble baths/bath bombs. I love them so much. But in order to really enjoy one, I have to spend a lot of time in it and I have a busy life and thousands of things that I’ve been putting off that need to be done. (Extra decadence points goes to the time AE got me a cinnamon heart bath bomb that turned the water bright red, so I just soaked there thinking about bathing in virgin blood. Of course I had to point it out to my half-Hungarian wife, too.)

2. Naps. I don’t get enough sleep (see also: busy.), or easily, and it is a physical necessity, but there is something so nice and almost decadent about looking over all of the stuff you have to do and deciding, fuck it, you’re tired and you’re going to sleep.

3. The last brownie corner of a batch of brownies I baked. Since I bake the brownies I don’t tend to eat most of them (because I bake to share, not to eat myself), so even just having a brownie feels decadent, but a corner piece feels more awesome because it seems like everybody prefers those. Getting the last corner piece feels like I won some sort of prize.

4. Soda. It’s bad for my anxiety and bad for me physically, but honestly? I don’t care. It’s one of the few things that I regularly want and there is a lot of joy and stress relief in getting what I want. After the first sip of soda I can even feel the muscles in my shoulders relaxing.

5. Not having to make decisions when I don’t feel like it.

6. Going to the movies.

7. Beverages from coffee shops. I don’t actually drink coffee, but they have other awesome drinks of awesomeness.
Day 5 – Greed, seven worldly material desires.

1. A nice house in the area where I currently live. I specifically want this house. Look how awesome it looks! Plenty of space to expand, too. And, one of the major selling points, it’s only a few houses down from a cemetery.

2. Someone who will wake me up at 6am, make me breakfast while I check my e-mail, and make me a nice lunch while I’m getting ready for work. While I’m at work they’ll dust, vacuum, and generally tidy/clean up the place. And when I call/e-mail that I’m on my way home from work they’d get dinner ready so that the rest of the household and I can enjoy a nice warm meal (and the pleasant company/conversation that goes with it) before we spend some quality time together (knowing my household, this will either be playing games or watching videos) before bed.

3. A dresser. My cheap crappy one has fallen apart.

4. A van/mini van for the family, whoever is at home with not yet existent children and/or in charge of their transportation to and from school/preschool/daycare would be the primary driver. (Extra happy points if we can get an electric one.)

5. A smallish electric car for getting to and from work. Sarah would be the primary driver.

6. Lots of TV shows on DVD (Soap, Mork and Mindy, Histeria!, Invader Zim, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, Clarissa Explains It All, etc.)

7. Magic Pixies to do my unpacking.
Day 4 - Sloth,seven things you neglect to do.
This is probably by biggest deadly sin. I'm a very avoidant person.

1. Return phone calls. I don't like talking on the phone. I avoid it as much as possible, and I even have a long voice mail message to discourage people from leaving one (because if you don't leave a message, I can just assume it's not important.).

2. Keeping in touch with people. As much as I may think you are the niftiest fucking person on this whole blessed planet, I will not contact you first unless I am desperate. I won't invite you places. I won't e-mail you. I defiantly won't call you, and I probably won't even IM you first. It has absolutely nothing to do with you. I just have a giant fear or rejection and thus avoid these things.

3. Cleaning. ...I'm lazy.

4. Finishing anything remotely artistic that I may start. My crushing insecurity always points out to me how inadequate I am and how much better it would be if someone else did it, so... why bother finishing it?

5. Things that were fun but begin to feel like an obligation (stories, books, artistic endeavors, memes, etc.)

6. Unpacking. This is such an obnoxious chore that I wish I had magic pixies to do it for me.

7. Filing.
Day 3 - Wrath,seven things that piss you off.

Also known as 2 things that piss me off and 5 that I find frustrating because I don't do actual anger all that often.

1. People who hurt the people and things that I care about. If someone hurts me, I'm going to find excuses for them. But if they hurt somebody or something I really care about? I turn into a boiling pit of rage.

2. Stubborn pigheaded people who do not listen. I'm not saying you have to agree,I'm just saying you have to listen and consider.

3. Bad data. Every study's sacred and useful, if done right and if the people using it have information on how it was done.

4. People who have no respect for tradition, family, formality, and aesthetics.

5. Technology, especially when it does not work.

6. Being compared to Haley. Thankfully, this does not happen much any more.

7. If anything goes wrong the same day something else has gone wrong.
This is probably going to be the second easiest for me, and will have a few Wilde quotes. (Edit: Apparently only the first three were easy.)

Seven Deadly Sins Day 2: Envy, seven things you lack and covet.

1. I envy people who pass. This makes sharing my life with 3 other transsexuals rather interesting. I don't begrudge them it, but I still want it. And all of us except AE (she always passes and always knows she passes) tend to not notice when we pass, but notice when everyone else passes.

2. I also envy people who seem like they don't have feelings and people who can bend their feelings to their will. To quote Oscar Wilde, "I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them,to enjoy them, and to dominate them." I feel too much like my feelings are my master. I have a lot of feeling, I care too much about too many things. It seems like not having as many feelings would give me a mo and more awesome life.

3. I envy people who put their talents to use in ways that they in joy and make money. Sure, I like my job. But it's still a job and, to quote dear Mr. Oscar Wilde again,“I don't want to earn my living; I want to live.” I want to earn money by doing things that feel like living, and I envy other people who can do that.

4. I'm envious of people who have parents who help them out or treat them to things. As far as my parents are concerned, I am an adult and thus on my own.

5. I envy people who know what they want and where they are going.

6. I greatly envy people who can go to school and don't have to work at the same time.

7. I envy people who have never felt helpless or hopeless. But you know what? I don't really think those people exist.
Since I’m insecure and practically riddled with hang ups, this will be one of the hardest of these to complete.

Seven Deadly Sins Day 1: Pride, seven great things about yourself.

1. When I was younger I was in RSP thanks to being dyslexic, having ADD, and having an anxiety disorder. In elementary school and Jr. high I was told that I’d never be mainstreamed in high school. I was too dyslexic for some things, too inattentive for some things, too anxious for some things, too smart for other things. Yet by the second semester of my freshman year of high school, I was mainstreamed. Then they started saying that I would not be able to graduate from high school and that college should not be an option for me. But I graduated from high school (with a weighted grade of 3.9, thank you very much) and I have an AA degree (and I’ll be finishing my BA once Sarah graduates with hers). I am immensely proud of having proved the people who doubted me wrong.

2. I have excellent taste in people.

3. I make people’s lives better, and they are better for having known me. I am a calming and stabilizing presence in the lives of my companions.

4. People find me attractive. I haven’t a clue why, but I’m glad of it and proud when I remember it.

5. I’m an excellent public speaker.

6. I’m a fucking fantastic boyfriend/husband.

7. I am proud that I haven’t failed yet. Sometimes I am small and weak, and the world is cold, and the odds are stacked against me… but I wake up every morning and do it again. I have successfully resisted the urge to drop out of school, the urge to isolate myself, the desire to kill myself, the desire to just go to sleep and never wake up again because I am better than that.

3 Philosophies For The New Year

Take nothing seriously. Nothing deserves such a dull fate.

Do not hold consistency in high esteem. It is as worthwhile as discussions about the weather. Change! Grow!

Do not pretend to be good and do not fret upon finding yourself astray. It is a far better thing to find salvation than to fall from grace.
Uh, so I probably won’t be continuing the 30 day thing. But if you want to know the answers to any of them I haven’t finished, feel free to comment here. (No, Caoimhe, you can’t comment with all of them.)

Day 5 of 30

day 01 - introduce yourself
day 02 – your first love
day 03 – your parents
day 04 – your music
day 05 – your definition of love
Now with genuine preamble!.Collapse )
day 06 – your hobbies
day 07 – your best friend
day 08 – a precious item
day 09 – your beliefs
day 10 – what you wore today
day 11 – your siblings
day 12 – what’s in your bag
day 13 – your mode of transportation
day 14 – where you live
day 15 – your childhood
day 16 – your first kiss
day 17 – your favorite memory
day 18 – your favorite birthday
day 19 – something you regret
day 20 – your morning routine
day 21 – your job and/or schooling
day 22 – something that upsets you
day 23 – something that makes you feel better
day 24 – something that makes you cry
day 25 – your sleeping habits
day 26 – your fears
day 27 – your favorite place
day 28 – something that you miss
day 29 – your favorite foods/drinks
day 30 – your aspirations

Day 4 0f 30

day 01 - introduce yourself
day 02 – your first love
day 03 – your parents
day 04 – your music
Well, it’s not the world’s greatest answerCollapse )
day 05 – your definition of love
day 06 – your hobbies
day 07 – your best friend
day 08 – a precious item
day 09 – your beliefs
day 10 – what you wore today
day 11 – your siblings
day 12 – what’s in your bag
day 13 – your mode of transportation
day 14 – where you live
day 15 – your childhood
day 16 – your first kiss
day 17 – your favorite memory
day 18 – your favorite birthday
day 19 – something you regret
day 20 – your morning routine
day 21 – your job and/or schooling
day 22 – something that upsets you
day 23 – something that makes you feel better
day 24 – something that makes you cry
day 25 – your sleeping habits
day 26 – your fears
day 27 – your favorite place
day 28 – something that you miss
day 29 – your favorite foods/drinks
day 30 – your aspirations


Meepit must eat you!!
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